December 2010
1 post
WIN?
4 months ago I asked my ex to leave his girlfriend and be with me.
Last week I asked my then boyfriend to forget his ex and be with me.
None of them chose to be with me.
It hurts as hell, and the feeling of rejection is still there, but I no longer think there’s anything wrong with me.
September 2010
0 posts
Still B.
We went out for a coffee tonight.
He got some of the whipped cream and playfully smeared it on my face. I was gonna jokingly ask him to wipe it off with his mouth but I didn’t have to, he just went and did it. First kiss, all over again.
Later, as we left the coffee place, I approached the passenger side of his car willing to open the door, but he stopped me, touching the door over my...
July 2010
1 post
B.
B. is a long-time ex boyfriend whom I’ve recently started seeing again. He currently has a girlfriend, but is clearly interested in me. We went on a couple of dates, but of course I’ve been telling myself I don’t kiss commited people, so nothing happened so far.
Last night we were in his car, just talking and listening to music, when a song that J. introduced me to came on. It...
June 2010
1 post
Last night was the first time I’ve ever had sex with someone I’d just met. I was at a party at my friend’s place and I met a friend of hers. We were talking and dancing and kissing, and next thing I knew we were on her roomate’s bed.
I’ve always thought I would never do something like that, and if I did, I would regret it and get hurt, but I don’t feel bad at...
April 2010
6 posts
5 Worst Ways to Break Up with Someone →
I need to stop believing J. will ever come back.
I need to stop comparing every other guy to J.
I need to stop believing J. is the one.
The Story of V.
I should’ve written about him earlier. Here’s the story:
We met at a bar, that same week he texted me and we went out for a coffee at Starbuck’s. That night he caught my interest with his many tastes and ideals. We had a great first kiss the next week and went on seeing eachother. He’d shown to be a little too insecure for my taste, but still he was a good guy and treated...
March 2010
6 posts
1 tag
I've always thought no one loved me
But that’s ok, ‘cause I guess I don’t love anyone either.
1 tag
G.
I hate you because you made me see that the world wasn’t the way I expected it.
Maybe someday I’ll love you for that and forgive you.
1 tag
Love isn't magical
Most of the successful relationships I’ve known are based on nothing more than two people who respect eachother. Nothing magical about that. I grew up on Disney princesses and romantic comedies. I sincerely thought true love was supposed to be something magical, that only destiny could control.
When J. came around, I thought he was the one, but only because it was something absolutely...
February 2010
10 posts
1 tag
This is how it works
I’m coming to realize that love, the way I’ve always pictured it, doesn’t exist. What exists is some sort of a minimal affection that goes beyond people’s individuality. This affection has to be combined with sexual desire. Thus, a man and a woman will form a couple as a way of having sex on a regular basis with someone they find attractive/interesting, without having to...
1 tag
Rockin the AA
Seeing relationships one day at a time, kids. One day at a time.
Just trying to figure out what I did wrong with G.
Seriously, is it that wrong to like someone and try to make it work and be upset because it didn’t?
1 tag
“You can’t tell a woman you just met you love her. But it sucks that you...”
– How I Met Your Mother
This tumblr basically started because I needed a...
I realized I needed to deal with the ghost of J. before I could handle the ghost of G.
So J. might not have been “the one”, but he sure did love me right, in every sense, even when he felt he needed to break up. This means two things: one, that yes, I am good enough to be loved; and two, that yes, decent and interesting guys exist. These are lessons that I learned from him and that I...
Why a "love journal"?
Because I have a lot inside of me that I need to spit out - mostly angst, anxiety and insights about love - and I feel really sorry for my friends having to put up with me :)